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Something Changed At 30
Today I turn 33. Its a nice age. I’m very comfortable in my career and personal life and I feel like I’m making progress and I’m on my way to achieving my goals. The reason I feel that way is that I had mentors who helped me change my life for the better. It happened when I was 30.
In MBA school I was selected to join a group called Master Track. These were top students in the MBA program who excelled academically, showed leadership skills and had good previous management experience. Somehow I made the cut. In this program I was paired with two mentors. One was Chuck Coonradt, the famous author and business consultant. The other was serial entrepreneur and executive consultant, Dick Fontaine. Both men changed my life.
I sat down with Dick and we talked in great depth about my personality and the way I dealt with conflict. Dick really took on my sharp edges. I spent many nights up thinking about the things we discussed together. He began for me what has been a long personality change. Slowly, I have begun to smooth out the sharp edges that Dick helped me identify in my personality. Some of those edges are still there but I’m smoothing them out more and more over time. I am amazed at the progress I have made over the last couple of years.
Here’s a story that Dick told me. Maybe you can relate:
Sometime after the end of World War II, an American patrol boat in the South Pacific came under fire from a remote island. After some fighting the sailors from the boat captured several Japanese soldiers. Perplexed by the attack, the sailors asked the Japanese soldiers why they had attacked them. Their response was that the American’s were the enemy and they were simply protecting their outpost. The Japanese soldiers had never been notified that the war was over. They had been forgotten and abandoned on the island. So they sat there waiting to fight a war that had long since ended.
How many times do we go to “war” for no reason? How often do we jump defensively into situations that don’t warrant a defensive position? Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and realize there is no war so there is no reason to fight.
Chuck dared me to dream and then showed me how to make those dreams a reality. The lessons he taught me in goal setting have been life changing. He related this story to me:
Every Friday night a young man would sit at the dinner table and listen to his father converse with various prominent men from their community. The men would often talk of their failures and missed opportunities. One night, after listening to this weekly conversation, the young man retired to his room frustrated by the night’s conversation. He took out a piece of paper and began to write down all the things he wanted to accomplish in his life. The list of over 100 goals included visiting numerous counties, meeting the pope, riding a horse in the Rose Parade and many other dreams that the boy had.
By the time this man had turned 80 he had accomplished most of the goals that he had written down as a young boy. He dared to make his dreams a reality. How many times have you looked back on your life with regret? Have you ever heard an elderly person talk about how they had wasted their life and not accomplished anything? I have and I don’t want to be that person.
I thank Chuck for giving me the tools and showing me the way live out my dreams.
Having confidants and mentors is invaluable. If you ever get the opportunity to be mentored by one who has many more years of experience than you do, take the opportunity and learn everything you can from it. I did and it has made all the difference in the world.
Happy Birthday, bro.
Left by Peter Abilla on 10/10/2006Thanks, Pete
Left by ctknud on 10/10/2006Happy B-Day. I like the blog and the stories inside of it. I worry about not accomplishing the goals that I have set for myself all the time. Just like you said, I don’t want to be 80 and feel like I have not accomplished anything. Anyway have a good one bro.
Left by Mark Maines on 10/10/2006Happy B-Day Chris,
Once again thanks for meeting with me and Tye. I am sure we will have many more questions as we launch Career Competitors. Much like you did, we are always looking for great mentors.
This is a quote that I keep next to my desk and it inspires me to reach further and work harder each and everyday.
Beyond Measure
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson
Left by Jason Baker on 10/10/2006Jason and Mark, thanks for the comments.
Left by ctknud on 10/10/2006Happy Birthday Chris! You’re finally my age again!
Left by phil801 on 10/10/2006Hey happy birthday. I hope that you have a great one.
Left by Tye Stauffer on 10/11/2006Thanks all!
Left by chris on 10/11/2006[...] I’ve talked about this before but it’s worth mentioning again. In 2003-04, I was part of a mentoring program in MBA School. I was matched up with star management consultant and author, Chuck Coonradt. I’ve never had such a hard core personality work over in my whole life. I would spend nights sitting up thinking about the things Chuck made me realize. This is how a lot of our conversations would go: [...]
Left by Chris Knudsen on life, business, and entrepreneurship » You can change on 02/21/2007